Sebastian
Call me crazy,
Call me mad.
Call me whatever,
I don't really care
This is my paradise,
this is my voice
And if you're kind,
don't deprive me of my choice
I need to express,
so please don't make me suppress
There's always this little red cross
at the top of your screen
Do feel free to click it if you think I'm mean
Because honestly, this is me
And I am free
To do whatever I wish! :D
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Tuesday, February 24, 2009
this is going to an emo post so flame, scold whatever ; i dont have the mood to even care''sebas sebas, it hurts doesn't it?"
I can't be nice and I can't be cruel..
I want to make everything alright but I dont know how..
Every time I try to comfort her, I just feel my heart sinking..
I even wondered to myself whether I was made to suffer on this earth..
I was totally desperate when she told me she wanted to commit suicide, It's my fault if she kills herself and I will live in regret my whole life..
oh, I dont know.. all this thinking is just making my head hurt.. and I dont even know what is right or wrong anymore!
Sometimes, I cant help but hate my life.. ):
God, what should I do? I'm so scared.. I realised I've actually not grown at all.. ):
and I'm all alone again.. ?
{you are my light}
Monday, February 23, 2009
I'm so tired today.. zzz.. I have to finish reading the tragedy of richard the third by tmr!!!and i cant even understand the first freaking page.. ):
why did i take lit..?
Now is the winter of our discontent
Made glorious summer by this son of York,
And all the clouds that loured upon our house.
In the deep bosom of the ocean buried.
Now that our brows bound with victorious wreaths,
Our bruised arms hung up for monuments,
Our stern alarums changed to merry meetings,
Our dreadful marches to delightful measures.
Grim-visaged war hath smoothed this wrinkled front.
And now, instead of mounting barbed steeds
To fright the souls of fearful adversaries,
He capers nimbly in a lady's chamber
To the lascivious pleasing of a lute.
SOMEONE HELP ME!! I don't know what I was thinking by choosing lit.. I can't understand a single thing!! and this is only the first page..!!!
today, I also found out why GP was the number 1 killer in JC..
the questions they ask are so WIDESPREAD and so vague at times.. die la.. I'm gonna fail GP and lit.. ):
apart from that.. I'm really happy today..
I've discarded my past, in hopes of something that will change me forever.
It feels good to know that I'll never be alone again.. (:
{you are my light}
Friday, February 20, 2009
19/2/09 marks the birth of a new me..I can't explain how happy I am today.. I've not felt like this since a long long time..
Today was so slack.. we had so many breaks.. I got SO BORED.. until I had to play with poor spongebob in the same freaky classroom while the guys were forcing the puppets on the floor to have sex.. -.-
so im not that bad..
spongebob has decided not to be abused again, and has become a terrorist! *ok, thats lame.. *
Then i cleared the co room for orientation tmr,
and hell, its DAMN TIRING CAN..
and i almost lost the key to the co room.. =X
Played bball after that.. I've become so noob to the extent that I'm not even fit to be a subsitute.. haiz.. nobody to play bball with me in school.. ):
and ethel gave me a hwa chong badge!! haha xD
I'm gonna abuse hwa chong's reputation!!!! wahahaha! xD
I'll start by robbing seven eleven stores.. =X
Sometimes people put up walls, not to keep others out, but to see who cares enough to break them down.
The wall surrounding my heart has collapsed and my cold heart has finally become warm again ^^
{you are my light}
Thursday, February 19, 2009
This is the first time in my whole life that I don't know what I'm depressed about..why am I so confused?
why am I feeling so heavy?
why am I so lonely?
and why the hell am I crying???
omg, so emo today...
i think i can play very beautiful songs on the cello now..
to make things worse, there's GP tmr.. ):
{you are my light}
Wednesday, February 18, 2009
Today was a rather boring day.. zzz..P.E in the morning, and oh boy, i do need to train soon!!!
I'm so freaking slow la.. 5 laps timing 8:57
I'd have become the slowest runner in my cross country team already la.. ):
then we had pw.. and we did pw in that freaky classroom AGAIN.. =.=
only this time, spongebob was already abused when we came in..poor spongebob.. =x
our mini project assignment was titled ''makan sutra'', and we're supposed to be design a food court suitable for all ages and it has to be attractive.. due in two weeks!! ><
Then we had history.. we played ice breaker games as well..
sat in a circle and we had to say a ''secret'' that no one else (supposedly) knows..
apparently, i said i used to be in cross country and everyone in the class gave a big reaction..
"HUH?!? WHAT?!?"
*okay, this shows how slow a runner I've become.. :'( *
Anyways, I feel like slacking tonight, maybe I'll do my GP stuff tmr night... heh xD
{you are my light}
Tuesday, February 17, 2009
today, I entered the scariest and weirdest classroom of my life..04-30 is freaky man.. It looks more like a kindergarten playground than a classroom
look at that one-eyed green shit.. I dont even know why its in a classroom la.. =.=
and wth, there's spongebob as well?!?
my girl classmates got lame and decided to appoint him class chairman.. =.= zzz
look at that!! pillows and puppets lying all around.. what kind of classroom is that.. ?!? haha but very comfortable to sleep though..
look at that!! pillows and puppets lying all around.. what kind of classroom is that.. ?!? haha but very comfortable to sleep though..
*I accidentally caught deanna's unglam legs in the picture.. =x*
and we did an analysis on an emo song titled
and we did an analysis on an emo song titled
''I've never been to me" by *er... ??? i forgot.. *
the song was about a prostitute who envies the life of a lady, who is a mother and a wife,
the song was about a prostitute who envies the life of a lady, who is a mother and a wife,
and although she's had an exciting past, she is only left with a hollow heart when her beauty and glamour fades away.. therefore, she's gone to paradise but never been to herself..
seb: "wah, hollow heart sia.. so emo.. "
deanna: "sounds damn familiar leh!! *stares at me*"
*seb remembers that his ex also always used to say that he had no love in his heart, is a sadist, and his heart was hollow*
seb's day was hence spoilt.. and feels rather fucked up for the rest of the day..
haiz..
anyways, there's PE tmr.. =.=
i wanna pon... !!!
{you are my light}
Monday, February 16, 2009
It's gonna be the night to remember~0937!!! xD
everybody tired after disco night...
but still very high!! haha xD
and DAMN BLOODY HIGH~
trip to sentosa!! (:
{you are my light}
Saturday, February 14, 2009
happy valentine's day!!today's the first time I've ever received so many choco, sweets, and even gifts for valentine's day..
I just realised how lucky I really am..
oh ya!
Deanna, if you're reading, thank you for the cross you gave me.
I really like it a lot, just hope it didn't burn a hole in your pocket..
And I appreciate that you only gave a present to me..
Just because I'm special (according to you)
I really look forward to spending two years with you as my classmate in NY.
And i did mean what i wrote in the card,
you can always confide in me when you're down,
and trust that i can be your listening ear always. (:
*my sore throat got worst, thanks to the choco I've been eating all day long.. *
ahhh, have to wake up at 9 tmr.. so sian.. zzz
{you are my light}
Thursday, February 12, 2009
YEAH DISCO NIGHT WOOHOOO!I HAD SO MUCH FUN TODAY!!
I LOVE MY CT!!! WOOOO!
PICTURES WILL COMING SOON, * I hope my ogl sends them to me soon*
''I WONDER IF YOU KNOW
WHY WE NANYANG ARE SO PRO
IF YOU SEE US, THEN YOU MEET US THEN YOU KNOW WHY WE SO PRO
WHY SO PRO AHHHHHHH
PRO PRO PRO
WHY SO PRO AHHHH
PRO PRO PRO! "
okay, i'm like damn high tonight
WOOOO!
SHIT!
tmr got lectures liao.. *sigh.. *
)=
{you are my light}
Tuesday, February 10, 2009
woohoo! I love my CT, all the cool arts students are there!!surprising to know that there are 4 co members in my CT, and 3 band members.
Apparently, my class consists of very artistic, and musically talented people.
looking forward to attending lectures and tutorials with my classmates!
0937 FTW!!
*okay, i'm high .. =.=*
{you are my light}
Thursday, February 05, 2009
sebas is in love with NYBecause... ...
1) It only takes 2 mins to reach my school (yes, i actually bothered to time myself..)
2) NY is SUPER clean and beautiful, its very very difficult to find litter lying around the floor.
3) I feel much more pride wearing the NY uniform than CJ's uniform (cjc's uniform is fugly... =x)
I'm so glad I could appeal to NY, principal said there were almost 1000 students this year, and 700 more awaiting appeals.. I didn't expect NY to be that popular..
it's been one hectic week, lectures after lectures.. now i know why people say JC is the most stressful period of life.. I couldn't agree less.
Next week's my orientation, and we'll be going sentosa! Haha xD
sentosa = beaches
beaches = girls wearing little clothing
girls wearing little clothing = one happy sebastian ^^
yeah, you get the picture =X
lol, JK..
sebas is damn cui today.. zzz
after doing pe on monday (40 + push ups in one shot, ran 2.4km, did A HELL LOT OF STRETCHING EXERCISES) and playing bball today.. apparently, my muscles are dying.. zzz
I'm like a black chicken now.. *quote from shalini*
haha xD
i need to sleep like.. NOW!
zzz
{you are my light}
Monday, February 02, 2009
I am officially a NYJCian!I was initially posted to cjc and being in cjc one day, JUST one day, made me feel that cjc just isn't the place for me.
Cjc is supposed to be CATHOLIC school *duh..*
but the houses in that school happen to be greek gods of olympus.. such as zues, apollo, atthens. etc.
which was a major contradiction to what i expected.. *names of bible, names of prophets, etc*
that really left me puzzled.
The school's auditorium was actually smaller than Maris Stella high school's Shaw hall. I couldn't believe it. I thought mshs definately had the most MOST pathetic school hall in the whole of singapore, i never knew there was one more pathetic than that.. =X
I thought I was in hell when brother paul put me to sleep with his ''jokes'' and boring talk about cjc.. blah blah..
thank god, i received the phone call from nyjc that I've been accepted and I'm ready to slam the ''kiss my ass, I'm getting out of here'' letter to brother paul tomorrow. haha xD
"Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see. - Hebrews 11:1"
I knew you wouldn't let me down! (:
{you are my light}