Thursday, September 24, 2009
I miss those 'really old days'..
"Each time people mention about my past, I'll think about you.
I do miss all the phone calls and stuff, maybe nothing can be the same. There was a reason for everything that happened I guess.. Well, I think still you're awesome. Hahaha yes :D
I'm thankful.
Okay God, I know you have an even more awesome plan for Seb.
Can't wait for you to work it out.
ps. I know, today's the 15th. "
Those were your exact words..
I don't know what's wrong with me but lately, I've been dreaming about you. You're always associated with red flowers and the 'blue sky', Blue.. your fav colour still? yes? :)
I couldn't help but wonder how's your life coming along?
heh, you always give me the impression life's woes and troubles can never bother you.
Perfect image of a liberated soul, seizing every moment to smile, never letting setbacks drag you down. How envious.. haha :)
As I read those above words. I couldn't help but wonder whether your prayer for me.. This 'awesome plan' God has in stall for me.. Is it coming soon? Am I as awesome as you put me to be? Will I be able to live up to people's expectations of me?
heh, can't seem to pick myself out of this lugubrious mood, even my words seem so tenebrous.. Haha, the stress of a 'JC life'..
so they say.
How long has it been.. nearly 2 years huh..
How time flies... It feels like only yesterday where your smile captured my heart..
Oh wells, :)
at least life's been kind to you. I'm glad (:
We should catch along sometime huh, although you're still famous for being 'overly-busy'.
That's so you. Hah.
I'm also thankful.
For shaping me and molding.. Making me who I am.
You're still a part of me.
And I'm still proud of that fact. (:
If God has an awesome plan for me.
Then I have nothing to worry about! (:
hehe =D
8 days left.. !
I'm so excited..
I want to show the world what I'm made of !
Cuz I'm gonna promote!!!
and I will :)
{you are my light}
Sunday, September 20, 2009
Roy's syndrome
Today after 1st service, En Han asked me a question, which til now I find difficulty in answering it.
"If you could only do one thing that you are very confident in from now til promos, what would it be? What aspect of your life would you focus on? Academic? Spiritual? Health? Or maybe even, Entertainment?"
I struggled to answer simply because, I don't know what I'm focusing on.. I seem so busy all the time, trying to do everything at the very limited time I have. Even when I'm studying, I don't know how to effectively allocate my time and resources into studying other subjects.. Thus, I tend to neglect my other subjects.. Good example would be my Maths.. =X
I'm having the Roy's syndrome.
I can't organise my time properly, and yet, I'm so ambitious. I become unrealistic in my targets and I've placed emphasis on the wrong things..
I need to think less complex, and think more simple, where 1 + 1 =2
If I were to focus on one thing for this promos, studies > all others. I have my discarded emotional barriers just for this..
Hope for the best, but prepare for the worst. .
I want to do well for this promos! (:
{you are my light}
Tuesday, September 15, 2009
If life sucks..
Last night, I experienced the 1st asthma attack since eight years ago.. I had forgotten how it feels like to have your life so heavily dependent on a ventolin machine, or even a small object like the inhaler.. My life was hanging on a thread last night.. I couldn't breathe and as I lay in bed, all I could see was a patch of white, and as I gasped for oxygen.. I thought I was going to die.
Like die. Literally.
haha, I never knew it was that scary.. Guess I'm turning white soon..
My inhaler was something that only collects dust in my drawer in the past.
Now it is my life source... How ironic.
Sigh, I couldn't even walk 300m properly without struggling... :(
After I 'recovered', I had a nice chat with my mum about 'something' and it got me thinking...
If someone treats you badly, does it mean that person is evil?
If someone is insensitive and unreasonable, does it mean that person is at fault?
If someone misunderstands you, does it mean you are not in the wrong at all?
... oh wells,
on a brighter note!
my phone died yesterday! (:
and I just got a new WHITE phone! :)
haha, I shall choose to be happy even if i suffer daily.
I choose to see the good in people always :)
{you are my light}
Monday, September 14, 2009
Letters with words left unsaid..
When I was packing up my table, I found a letter that I had written in June and it was for ******
..which I did not give to her, there were many others with it..
it contained my true feelings, emotions and 'rantings'?
and.. many others that will never be revealed.
After reading them, I couldn't believe I had actually written such words before, it was simply shocking and even amusing to a certain extent..
I realised that I have outgrown the past. I have moved on and changed quite a fair bit.
Although the past seems vaguely familiar, I doubt I can ever go back to those days again..
Even if I live with regret and sorrow, I will be strong and get over it somehow!
"The Lord is my helper, I will not be afraid.
What can Man do to me?" - Hebrews 13:6
With only 18 days left to Promos, I can't afford to fall now!
{you are my light}
Sunday, September 06, 2009
MSHS vs NYJC
After returning to mshs on teacher's day, and even performing for founder's day.
I couldn't help but compare my life in that school with the life I lead now in NYJC.
It seems to be a trend or some sort, we all want to get out of the school we are currently studying in and embrace the future with hope, but when we reach there.. somehow we just can't help but wish we could return to the past..
Comparison between MSHS & NYJC
MSHS
-toilet like shit..
-NO AIR CON!!!
-NO GIRLS to look at...
-CANTEEN FOOD is inedible, even pigs spit them out..
NY
+toilet damn clean..
+AIR CON TOO COLD...
+quite a lot of girls to look at la... =x
+Canteen food counted not bad already
BUT, somehow in MSHS,
I'm able to be more 'myself', not having to care about self image, not having to care about how I present myself cuz nobody would judge me.
Even if I'm judged, the guys there just don't give a damn. LOL
I met the best friends I could ever wish for, and through all pains and sufferings I endured in that hell-hole, I learnt how to enjoy myself in setbacks. With my friends,
I laughed and smiled every single schooling day (:
Marists 101
1.know how to 'suan' teachers/make fun of them/make their lives hell
2.know how to 'pon' lessons/ CCA
3.know how to be late
4.know how to spam vulgarities
Every marist knows these 'rules', and a true marist would know how to do all of the above.
I was once un 'suan-able' in mshs, I was once the guy that would have difficulty not saying the 'f word' everyday in school. I would always get caught for my long and COLOURED hair.. And I could command so much respect just by going back mshs and playing the drums for them.
NOW, I've been 'reduced' to this state.
I let others 'suan' me so easily.. I don't say the 'f word' often nowadays.. I don't even have any damn hair now can!!
Also, I feel that I dont have any respect in this school.. Everyone feels so 'plastic' to me.. ):
Politics, backstabbing, gossiping, etc..
I have become so nice that I don't even feel like myself anymore..
Maybe I've become so nice, that people like to take advantage of me..
Maybe it's time I learnt to say NO,
while displaying the 'Marist Spirit', adding a few lines of vulgarities behind it! (:
haha xD
{you are my light}
Wednesday, September 02, 2009
I'm so tired... zz
I really shouldn't be blogging but I guess I should take a break,
after chionging PW for 6 hours straight.. My brains are getting fried.. o.o..
Anyways, thank you God for showing to me that I still can do well in JC.
Maybe the miracle you promised me will surface soon..
Today, I passed my first lit assignment (16/25) and I even got a B grade. xD
Also, today I got my first full marks paper (Maths) ever since Primary school.
I never managed to get any paper with full marks in Secondary school before, let alone getting a test back with full marks in JC.. xD
Even though it's only H1..
but still! It's not bad already, considering the time I spent on my Maths..
However, today I failed my hist assignment by a little bit.. ):
Oh well, it's kind of expected since I didn't even finish it.. =X
*okay, break over.*
Back to pw!
... zzz
:(
{you are my light}