Hedgehog's dilemma
I've been thinking.. Am I a hedgehog? and am I suffering from the Hedgehog's dilemma?
What's a hedgehog? Well, it's an animal with many spines on its back. Hostile on the outside, but very warm and loving inside.
This is a hedgehog
The hedgehog dilemma is an analogy about the challenges of human intimacy. It describes a situation in which a group of hedgehogs all seek to become close to one another in order to share their heat during cold weather. However, once accomplished, they cannot avoid hurting one another with their sharp quills. They must step away from one another. Though they all share the intention of a close reciprocal relationship, this may not occur for reasons which they cannot avoid.
The hedgehog's dilemma suggests that despite goodwill, human intimacy cannot occur without substantial mutual harm, and what results is cautious behavior and weak relationships.
With the hedgehog's dilemma one is recommended to use moderation in the affairs with others both because it is in self-interest, and also out of consideration for others.
Even though a hegdehog may wish to get close to another hedgehog, the closer they get, the more they injure each other with their spines.
Even after so much has happened.. I'm trying to find that distance that I can get closer to other people and yet avoid hurting them too much..
Well, that justifies the introversion I've been enagaging, and why I've locked myself in, maintaining that safe distance so that no one can hurt me, and that I won't hurt anyone as well.
Maybe I'm meant to be a lone ranger all along.
Sigh, it's really tiring to be in solitude...
I don't know why..
but I really miss you.
I miss having someone to talk to late at nights, someone who can make me smile.
It's been so long..
"If you don't cry when you want to, you are not going to smile."
I guess I have to learn how to let my emotions go, and not bottle everything up..
I don't want to run anymore, I want to face my emotions.
I'd rather be emo than to go totally numb, void of emotions..
God, help me.. I hate this feeling!