Call me crazy,
Call me mad.
Call me whatever,
I don't really care
This is my paradise,
this is my voice
And if you're kind,
don't deprive me of my choice
I need to express,
so please don't make me suppress
There's always this little red cross
at the top of your screen
Do feel free to click it if you think I'm mean
Because honestly, this is me
And I am free
To do whatever I wish! :D
alex
alina
amanda
anqi
ben
brenda
calvin
chanping
cher
deanna
edwin
ethel
eunice
foo hou
gail
hilary
hsieh wen
jian quan
joelle
juliana
junhui
junxi
jun yuan
kaishan
keqin
leonard
lim xinyi
mandy
ona
priscilla
reginald
renyi
sabrina
say yin
say wee
sean
shayne
sherilyn
shiva
shumin
sihui
suyi
sze hui
sze min
teo xinyi
theresa
thomas
ting hui
vanessa
wan xing
winston
wenqi
yeesuan
yeow boon
yuan jun
yuen
yuen man
yuen ping
yun xuan
yuqi
zhi ming
zhi wen
zi keng
602 04'
jipabun
MSHS hu dept
NYJC L&F
NYCO
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HELLO world!!
In less than 24 hours, I'll be carrying my luggages in hopes of returning with satisfaction from shopping in Hongkong! :D
I think I deserve a good break; a getaway from stressful Singaporean lifestyle and indulge in 'retail therapy'! haha
I've always wanted to really experience more in Hongkong.. My previous trip with the CO members was well, disappointing in certain ways, and yet enjoyable in other aspects as well. Really hope this time round I can finally let my hair down and really enjoy myself..
but first, I should really get my ass moving and start packing.. :(
Today, I told someone that she wore a lot of grey clothings and I asked her whether she liked grey. *I was correct, as usual.. ^^
haha, and well, I didn't think as much as her, because I was seriously preoccupied with trying to make her smile and laugh the whole time. I honestly wanted the 'final' memory of us together to be a blissful and positive one. I'm sorry I 'bullied' you on the train, it's just I haven't seen you laugh so hard and smile so brightly for a long time. I'm glad :D
And I do hope my simple 'surprises' have made your day. Simplicity is everything to me, I just want to convey my emotions through simple and clear methods. To me, even a simple trip to a bookshop can mean so much.. Life isn't waiting for happiness to come, it's creating happiness out of nothing.
Admittedly however, today I did feel somewhat rotten during the ice cream treat, when you told me I was so similar to him in behaviours and hobbies, my heart felt weird. You told me you may become afraid to love me.. probably afraid of the past resurfacing once more.. I felt scared at that moment. Faked a smile of course, as I always do.. I didn't want to be a replacement, I want to be someone special, not just someone who qualifies to be a substitute. I know my heart has this slight sting whenever you mention his name, sometimes I'd uncontrollably compare myself with him, just like how you do unintentionally.
''I want to be better than him'', says the heart, despite knowing that it's pointless to even bother comparing. I sometimes even wish I didn't share so many similarities with him, to serve as a constant reminder that 'Sebastian is just like him..'
I'm willing to kick all my hobbies, suppress the similar joys we have in common but I know you'll be strongly against it.
This applies to even the yellow flower guy. It hurts to know you're so worried and troubled but I'm powerless to even do anything to change the situation. I felt like confronting him myself, and if I ever did that, it probably means I'm serious about it. If he's going to pull you into darkness, I will protect you at all costs; I mean what I say.
Sigh, take care okay??
I told her to let go, and have faith that everything'll be fine eventually. Even though I'm still afraid deep down inside, fearful of things happening, paranoid of change.. I guess I have to live by my very own words and lead by example.
and so, I will. :D
that simple!
Starting tomorrow, I shall breathe again, come back new! *probably fatter*
So God, help us here. Let everything be alright..
May the light shine even in darkness, always. (:
haha!
Countdown: 6 days.
Stay hungry, stay foolish!
..
But you'd be a loser if you did..
Yeah,
but I'd be a bigger loser if I didn't follow my heart, if I don't stay true to myself
To me, being foolish and stupid is harder than being smart,
We all live in a competitive world striving to survive, always 'manipulating the truth'. Perhaps everyone's so accustomed to hearing lies, we lose trust and surprisingly, it's always the truth that touches our hearts. Pure honesty makes that lasting impact.
Lucy said, "He's the best father in the world; because his love is all that I need."
Anyways, watched The losers today!! xD
So happy, watched the movie I wanted to watch and with the person I want to watch with :D
I can't believe you actually liked it.. Lol, you're turning into a guy; a marist even.. disturbing... =x
haha, next time I intro you to cooler shows k?? :D
and I'm sorry to hear about your running nose, I do hope it gets better by tomorrow.. Honestly, I'd miss you even though it's a day.. But it's precisely because of this period that
Every.day.counts.
I just want to say, I think you really love me a lot.. When you told me of all the things that you've done for the first time in your life, (under my influence) I was really surprised. It's true, I may not know how much I've changed your life.. but I do know that you have indeed changed mine too. :D
You're willing to go through so much for me.. Things which I know you probably wouldn't have done in the past.. It's simply amazing.
When I heard that you're gonna write about your life everyday when I'm away and that you're not going to find a replacement for me.. It meant a great deal to me, and it certainly touched me.. You always think I'm 'awesome' and how 'you don't deserve me'..
You're mistaken, the tables are turned this time round because you are the one that's really awesome.
I always admired your bravery and courage, something which I lacked of..
I always respected your determination to continuously make the same mistakes but never moving away from what you think is right.
You have so many good traits that many people do not see in you, and so many talents hidden within you, just waiting to be found.
You always underestimate yourself, thinking you can't do it. hehe jiayou dear! Stay true to yourself and everything'll be fine :D
I do hope you can get well soon okay! :(
I love you..
That kiss was really special to me.. and I'm glad I took it..
Stay hungry, stay foolish!
Because following that path will make you shine..
Just when all the smart geniuses in the world become lost in their own complex thoughts, you will be that foolish 'loser' to hit the jackpot..
haha, recently liked or rather, addicted to this game.
It's a memory we both share together, and something we both enjoy doing together. (:
I feel so blessed... :D
haha!
Off to study! I cannot let myself or her down, or anyone else for that matter!
I love you dear!! :D
He vies for the bedside position, hoping to be the first voice you hear. He covets your waking thoughts, those early, pillow born emotions. He inserts words of worry, stirs you with thoughts of stress. If you dread the day before it even begins, that giant has already taken the lead.
Without a doubt, there are so many super-sized challenges across the globe.. Challenges that swagger and strut, pilfer sleep and embezzle peace and liposuction joy out of our lives.
Will these giants gain control and force us to kneel and cower before them?
In my case,
I think my life is a miracle. It has been, and it will continue to be.
I know my past is filled with endless darkness but I've learnt how to walk out of bad memories and to always remember the good memories; memories of my freedom, my rebirth.
There are times I've fallen to the giants, times where the giants fall..
From today, I'm going to write down my worries in sand, chisel yesterday's victories in stone.
Anything written in sand won't last as it will only cease to be washed away by waves. On the other hand, stone is not temporal, but absolute. It's tough and robust, not easily shaken nor easily broken.
I want to make sure I remember the positive things I've done, not avoiding my troubles but conquering them.
No more embracing of darkness, no more pessimism. I shall not allow the negativity to take out the light in my eyes, the passionate flame that burns in my heart. From this instant, I am going to take down my Goliath!
To someone:
hey, I'm not sure if I'm thinking too much but I think there's something bothering you. If there really is, don't hide it from me alright? You know it'll make me worried. Perhaps it's because of the reading of my 2 years worth of blog posts? Perhaps it's some romance drama that makes you emo? Or is it something else that denies you of your smile? Then again, like you said.. I may be wrong and overthinking too much. I hope I am, because you mean so much to me and I can't bear to see you sad..
Someone asked me 'how's she like?'
Honestly, I didn't give a cohesive answer partly because I wasn't prepared and didn't expect it. I'm sorry because I should have given a better answer and I know you deserve greater credit. You're not only sensitive and humorous, you're also forgiving and so very kind. You're intelligent, sweet and honest..
There's a reason why I remember 90% of the words you say,
there's a reason why I can't help but stare at your eyes and smile to myself, there's a reason why I can feel so happy admist all the weariness and fatigue life constantly presents to me.
It doesn't matter what your character is, I want to love you for not only the parts that are lovable, but also the non-lovable sides of you.
You said your heart will ache when you see me getting headaches, my heart aches too when I know you're troubled or bothered and I'm powerless to do anything. I don't want you to fall into darkness. You gave me courage to move on, so how can I just watch you plunge headfirst into danger, walking unto a path that shouldn't be walked on?
Like you said, the Lord is watching above us and things will start to look up for you. I want to be part of that, I want to be the first one to witness you soar up high. I'm not sure if you're willing, but will you accept me for who I am? Be it 'chain girls' or not? You're not a cheap substitute or a replacement of any kind, you have a special place in my heart.
It's right here, if you're willing to take it.
I'm all yours.. :D
I had one of the most memorable birthdays in my life.
I had the best birthday cake in the world, made out of pure love.
I had and still have, great friends that remember me..
I have a great family that cares so much about me, who are really proud of me..
I am blessed, I know it.
This year's been a very memorable year for me, even though it's only been 4-5 months. For so many various reasons I can't even remember..
"Thank you, God. For showing me, for reminding me, what’s truly important to me. I will cherish with my everything."
This year, I feel reborn. Renewed from my past, seen the light.
Once was a period of my decline, now I shall make it the start of my incline.
I'm 18 now,
can drink, can drive..
just don't drink drive.
Can watch m18 movies, buy cigarettes and do other 'stuff'' LEGALLY.
It's a great step for me, I'm not even sure whether I'm up to standard of 'matured 18'. It takes a lot to grow up, to mature is to become responsible, not shying away from duties and tasks and to be able to impact lives positively by setting a good role model. Maturity is doing what is right, and not what is popular. I'm so afraid I can't reach that level of maturity..
Deep inside of me, there lies this fear of growing up. In just 3 years time, I would already become a legally recognised adult. It all seems so fast, this progression. Just two years ago, I was still playing with gaming consoles.. Skipping lessons and having the 'ideal carefree life'. Imagine two years later, I'd be holding machine guns, trampling on mud, 'defending' the nation. And another two years later, I'd probably be in University to further my studies and carving a career for myself, 'serving' this nation.. With great power comes greater responsibility. Having all the privileges of an eighteen just serves as a reminder for me to exercise self control and to have strict discipline of oneself. Having theory is in fact, much different from doing it.. I may know the 'requirements' of myself, but am I ready to meet these expectations?
Life isn't really about perfection, nobody's perfect.
It's about making every second count and worth living.
To me, life isn't measured by how many smiles and laughters, but it's the number of other people's lives that you've changed. Ultimately when I reach that day on my death bed, God won't ask me how happy I've been on Earth. He'll ask me how many lives I've saved..
I wonder, how many lives have I really saved?
Will I still be that rebellious 'teen' or be that one person that is dependable, trustworthy and influencial? A levels isn't really everything because results doesn't reflect character. It is always our character and personal qualities that makes us different from everyone else.
This year, my aim is to achieve both character and academic results. To balance social life, with my working life and to prepare myself for the next 2 years in NS. No matter what this eighteenth year of my life has for me, I'll learn to face it, to handle it. I have to..
I must learn how to grow up! So that I can be a good role model for you :D