take all of me:

Sebastian

Call me crazy,
Call me mad.
Call me whatever,
I don't really care
This is my paradise,
this is my voice
And if you're kind,
don't deprive me of my choice
I need to express,
so please don't make me suppress
There's always this little red cross
at the top of your screen
Do feel free to click it if you think I'm mean
Because honestly, this is me
And I am free
To do whatever I wish! :D

You were warned.. :P

CONVERSATION

EXITS

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602 04'
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archives

Sunday, August 22, 2010

By my side

I'm just listening to the clock go ticking,
I am waiting as the time goes by.
I think of you with every breath I take,
I need to feel your heartbeat next to mine.
You're all I see, in everything.

I just wanna hold you,
I just wanna kiss you,
I just wanna love you all my life.
I normally wouldn't say this,
but I just can't contain it.
I want you here forever,
right here by my side.

All the fears you feel inside,
and all the tears you cry,
they're ending right here.
I'll heal your heart and soul;
I'll keep you oh so close.
Don't worry; I'll never let you go.
You're all I need, you're everything.

No one else will ever do.
I got a stubborn heart for you.
Call me crazy, but its true; I love you.
I didn't think that it would be, you have made it clear to me.
You're all I need.

I guess pictures are self-explanatory yes? Hahaha

In a condensed summary..
Eating at HPC,
Walking along the IR,
Touring around the Esplanade,
Watching David Choi live,

and that made my day ^^

Such utopian days like these won't last long I guess, they won't appear so often anymore especially when copious amounts of work are piling up and collecting dust on my desk. I do not have the luxury or the time to be as loquacious or garrulous but to be crisp and brief, focused and concise on my priorities, which admittedly, have been adjusted in the wrong direction.. After today's sermon, I realised that when a human falls or has reached a dead-end and enters a stupefied position, there are four main things that person normally does.

1. Run away, avoiding the problem or downfall as much as possible
2. Complain, express immense amounts of dissatisfaction and use vituperative language to unleash their inner discontent
3. Live in denial, refusing to even acknowledge the problem's existence
4. Keep on trying harder.

I'm guilty of number 4, constantly trying to push myself past my limits and not even aware of whether i'm headed towards the correct and designated path. I've carried this mentality that if you keep trying harder, one day you will reach it; failing to realise that we're all weak in nature, that some battles can never be won.. and it is ultimately God's path we must walk on.
Because of this, I am responsible of derogation and disparaging his intended rules and laws, detracting from authority and also straying in character (as a child of God)
I've grown afraid of human's expectations, that I forgot all about Him, and how all he wants us is to believe inside our hearts and to execute it on the surface. God, I have sinned.. Forgive me.

"Do you not know that in a race all the runners run, but only one gets the prize? Run in such a way as to get the prize. Everyone who competes in the games goes into strict training. They do it to get a crown that will not last; but we do it to get a crown that will last forever. Therefore I do not run like a man running aimlessly; I do not fight like a man beating the air. No, I beat my body and make it my slave so that after I have preached to others, I myself will not be disqualified for the prize." -1 Corinthians 9:24-27

I guess the key to being a really healthy person inside and outside, is to stay congruent with God. Only then, can you be free and only then can you receive blessings and love others unconditionally.

At least Now I know better.. :)

{you are my light}

Friday, August 13, 2010

Tattoo

You're on my heart just like a tattoo
I'll always have you
Just like a tattoo

Unsure of your reactions and perceptions of me now that I've said what I wanna say inside.

But I've made up my mind, I will go for the jugular, and make every effort to be a better man. And I won't let it be at the cost of my happiness or my health. I know you can't help but be worried sometimes, I understand and acknowledge that. Still, believe and you shall see miracles. When you mentioned that you miss those days, those kanon days, those days where you can just lean on me without a care in the world. I know I missed them too, so badly in fact.. I wanted to become the guy you fell in love with again, that guy that was well organised, clear and straight-forward, decisive and firm in times of frailties and weaknesses. A person dependable, reliable and trustworthy. I want to lead a steadfast life, veracious and truthful to myself.

I'm really worn out.. But I'm happy, really happy :)

I know there will be more memories to come.. :D

I think I'm crazy..

sigh, I really miss you... and I'm crazy in love with you..

{you are my light}

Sunday, August 08, 2010

Superman

If I could be your superman,
I'd fly you to the stars and back again.
'cause everytime you touched my hand,
You feel my powers running through your veins.
But I can only write this song,
And tell you that I'm not that strong.
'Cause I'm no superman, I hope you like me as I am'

-Joe Brooks

Beautiful lyrics.. Simple and straight to the point. Nobody's superman, and no one's ever perfect. I can't comprehend why Justin Bieber is more famous and star-studded than him..

Girl, I read your blog.. And I want to affirm and reassure you this, you don't need to try too hard to please me or make me smile. Because you can share anything with me, I'm always here to listen and I'll support you the best I can! :D
And yes in retrospect, we 'chose each other', and til this day I bear no regrets about being together with you.. So let's make it all worthwhile! :) After witnessing my two good friends having so much trouble with such pertinent issues, it really impels me to treasure you even more with each passing day. To constantly remind myself that your love is not to be taken granted, and if I could.. I'd want to protect you as much as I can. I know you've been through a lot this week, I really wish you get well soon! :D We're left with 90 days.. and time is ticking away....

Got this on litespeed from Mr Chng.
"This is indeed the last stretch before your sole purpose in JC for the past 2 years. Give it your best shot for the next 5 weeks and you will have months next year to play and do whatever you want. And that's the truth. It is a simple and short 5 weeks of hardwork and that's it. It is ultimately your own lives. Nobody owes you a living. If you want to achieve your dreams you will have to work for it. Cut off all your hair, clench your fists, bite your lips, and give your 110% for the A-levels. The least you can do is to give it your best bloody shot so that you will have no regrets!"
It sounds like he's making a military oratory, in an attempt to spur determination and encouraging that 'die with honour' attitude. ^^
But, I know he's right.. It's getting nearer and nearer, that much 'anticipated' and much feared A levels.

The Lord is a refuge for the oppressed, a stronghold in times of trouble.
-Psalm 9:9-10

God, please enlighten me with your wisdom and fill me with determination and motivation. I know I am weak, undeserving for any blessings and grace that you have bestowed upon my shoulders.. Yet, you saved us and crucified your only son to die for our sins..

Praise the Lord! :D

..Sometimes I wonder how can you love us so much despite everything we humans have done?

{you are my light}

Sunday, August 01, 2010

Nothin' on you

A tiptoe, and a kiss on the go

Beautiful girls all over the world
I could be chasing but my time would be wasted
They got nothing on you baby
Nothing on you baby
They might say hi and I might say hey
But you shouldn't worry about what they say
Cos they got nothing on you baby
Nothing on you baby

It's been more than 3 months. How time flies and glides by our very eyes.. I feel honoured and revered that 'You're my Queen of Spades, and I'm your King of Hearts'. I know it's honestly been hard on you, I am well aware of my 'tendencies'. Tendencies to dwell into regressive, unhealthy parochialism. Perhaps you've found me bemusing and bewildering on innumerable occasions where I unknowingly enter dire states of utter despair and desolation when things are still aren't as bad as they look. I understand that because of my past, I have made my heart aposematic, built for 'danger-detection' and constructed in careful consideration only serving to protect myself from harm. As a result, I have caused you to suffer. But darling, do know this: everyday I find these walls built around me slowly crumbling piece by piece. Anyone can give up, it's the easiest thing in the world to do. But to hold it together when everyone else thinks you will crumble, makes a difference and that is true strength. Thank you for not giving up on me :D
It's 1 am in the morning, and I'm still thinking about you, missing you so much..and I inevitably thought about our recent studying date together to maybe make me feel slightly happier :)

'act slim' face. haha xD

seb: 'rawr, take what sai pic.. '
Eunice: *ignores and continues to 'act cute' :D

haha, how many days do we have left? hmmmm.. 99 days? I guess time is not at our favour. I often wished I could spend more quality time with you, but I know striking that balance is equally important as well. A productive day today has been, nearly 8 hours of non-stop studying. Eyelids are heavy, weary yawns are appearing and my sight's getting blurry. Looks like it's time for some well deserved rest? haha xD I will see you tomorrow I guess! :D

Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up.

-Galatians 6:9

I won't give up!

{you are my light}