Sunday, August 10, 2008
Enough is enough
this is going to be an emo post.so don't flame me or whatever.I'm just writing down what I feel..
It has been more than 7 months now..
It all started with a simple hello, time passed and feelings grew, it seemed perfect whenever I was with you. No one could tear us apart..
And I was really happy.
I was often caught grinning from ear to ear whenever I thought about you. I thought, I had to be the luckiest and happiest person on earth.
however, I reflect upon myself this day and I realised. I was often caught sobbing whenever I thought about you. My heart just aches whenever I miss you.. My life is in pain, in misery and in darkness.
I asked myself, "Why come to this? Isn't love supposed to be sweet? Was there even supposed to be bitterness?"
Over and over again, I try and try to forget the past, forget every single word you used to tell me, and to forget you ever existed in my life.
but, You just had to pop in my head and torment me whenever I was alone..your once sweet and caring smile has now become my nightmare, the feeling of your touch is the reason behind my tears..
the emotional wound I struggled so hard to close was once again, reopened.
I want to be free from this torture, to be free from the endless pain, to be free from the taunting past that would rob my peaceful nights so mercilessly. I want to live a renewed life, I don't want to look like a fool anymore, I want to be someone useful, to be someone of importance and someone of value.
When you left me to get drenched in the rain, with the echo of my own voice as my only company.. I confronted my own feelings. "Is this the girl you really love? Would someone who ''cared'' for me treat me this way? Is this selfish person even fit to be your girlfriend? Is THIS really what you want?"
I realised that I have truely lost you and you will never return. From the girl who'd write me lovely letters, the girl who'd strum a melody on her guitar to send me to sleep, is now a girl who's cold and heartless and wouldn't even care about my feelings, only to be irritating in her eyes.
Enough is enough, I must still live my life even if the whole world lets me down, I have to move on.
If you're reading this, I want to tell you this.
I have to go now,
You live your life and I'll live mine.
You'll do fine and so will I
Cos we're better off separated
I used to cry,
But now I hold my head up high
And when you see me,
I'll be new,
Not that chained up little person still in love with you.
the lord will light up my path.. and you are not on it.
“I'm going to smile and make you think I'm happy, I'm going to laugh, so you don't see me cry, I'm going to let you go in style, and even if it kills me - I'm going to smile.”
{you are my light}