Saturday, June 05, 2010
Excellence versus perfectionism
Sometimes I wished people could see the effort, rather than results. In this pragmatic society, I wonder whether one day teachers would give students A grades for their efforts and hard work rather than the quality produced. Effort doesn't equate to results in this cruel world..
I think in everyone of us, there's an artist inside who wants so much to blossom and flourish, to be able to grow, and to be given a chance to express. In the bible, Ephesians 4.32 tells us to be "kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you." It seems that I haven't applied this great verse to the artist inside of me. The perfectionist is not kind to the artist inside, constantly criticizing the artist and always setting unrealistically high expectations and only sees the negative. It appears that I haven't been kind to the artist in me.
Many of us artists are feelers. We relate to the world around us based on our feelings, but that's dangerous because our feelings change. However, the worst thing you could do to those of us with artistic temperaments is to tell us to ignore our feelings! We can't ignore our feelings. For my case, those feelings are too strong, too real to ignore. What influences our feelings most, though, is what we believe in our minds. Sadly though, making the connection between the brain and the heart is not always easy.
so just this once, give me time and grace?
I'm not perfect.
Did I grow up according to plan?
Do you think I’m wasting
My time
doing things I wanna do?
But it hurts when you
Disapprove all along
And now I try hard to make it
I just want to make you proud
I’m never gonna be good enough for you
I can’t pretend that I’m alright
And you can’t change me, you can't.
Because only I can change myself..
How many times have you asked me whether I can ever play the cello that good, when can I ever reach the standards of those drummers?
How many times have you asked me why can't I sleep on time, wake up on time like normal people?
How many times have you told me how I should live my life?
instead of
telling me that You're proud to see me play the cello and drums, even though I suck badly
instead of
asking how I feel when I have insomnia, asking what's troubling me..
instead of
trying to find out more about my current lifestyle rather than changing it forcefully..
I'm tired..
And you tell me that I shouldn't be so tired; I'm not acting like my age that I should be fit and not so weak..
Why don't you try asking me why I'm tired, for a change.
How's that?
Yeah, didn't think so either.
{you are my light}